April 18, 2014
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, – not the absence of fear.
Today I am reflecting on a bumper sticker that reads “Remember Who You Wanted To Be.” It reminds me of the excitement I felt over the discovery of freedom and space to be myself when my marriage ended. With the pressure of working on a relationship and analyzing myself intently removed, I could breathe again.
As time moved on, this exhilarating experience lost its luster and I was faced with the task of rediscovering myself in this new life. Without titles and associated responsibilities as my compass, who was I now?
My life had been a process of self-creation starting with college. For 17 years, I had been highly influenced by my family and their traditional roles. In college, I discovered my wilder earthier side. From preacher’s kid to hippy, I ran wild and free intoxicated with the realization that I could discover myself and grow into whoever I wanted to be in this life. Psychedelics were helpful in this pursuit.
So how would I recapture that sense of adventure in order to create any life I chose for myself? How to feel 20-ish rather than cautious mid-40ish? I was determined to rebirth that youthful spark of fearlessness.
In pursuit of living true courage, I am learning so much. One thing is my worries are born of life experiences that my indestructible 20-year-old self knew nothing about. Life experiences had made impressions on my heart and mind. Maybe that is what I am observing when I see people taking less risk as they grow older; quietly moving into their comfort zone.
I am also learning that it is not about being fearless, it is about pushing through the fear. To stop challenging and discovering myself would be to begin a slow, quiet death. That’s just not my style.
When new challenges come my way, such as surfing, kayaking or waterfall repelling, I can feel myself hesitate. My heart feels grabbed with uncertainty. Then I fortify myself with thoughts of how sad I would be if I missed out on the fun and the thousands of people who have done this before me. Once I am on the board or headed down the waterfall, only joy fills my heart. In these courageous moments, I find my core essence that strengthens me.
There are also other day-to-day times that surprisingly require courage. As an example, even though I have pulled my horse in his trailer many times, the potential for danger is always present in my mind. Some days (for reasons I cannot determine) this is scarier than others. And yet, this is something I love to do. Will I really allow trepidation to get in the way of something that fills my heart completely? No…I will not.
My choice is to either allow these experiences to freeze me up and keep me safely home with my predictable routines or use the wisdom of my life to walk into the adventure of living my dreams even if I am afraid. In these moments I choose to focus on my courage rather than my fear and appreciate myself for doing it. This practice opens my heart rather than constrict it with fear.
This applies to so much, not just the physical adventures I’ve described. Many things in life can invite fear. Making a significant career move, investing time in a dream you’re not sure will work out, going out into the world, speaking your truth, being your authentic, going back to school, risking your heart in love…truly anything where we can cannot predict the outcome. This is living.
I encourage you to follow your heart and not be deterred by the possibility of success or failure…pleasure or pain. Do sports players hesitate before a playoff game reflecting on the pain they will feel if they lose? I doubt it. The only way out is through. Face the fear, name it, own it, and push on.
Is fearlessness wasted on youth? Nope. Let them have it and I’ll keep my wisdom spiced with life experiences. Perhaps the fear keeps me awake and aware of all I have learned. These challenges are educations that stretch and deepen my love of life and self. I choose to be undaunted and live with voracious courage.
What will you do next that has scared you?
What challenges have you that you tackled and survived?
What did you learn about yourself?
Go out there and live wild and free!
February 21, 2014
It seems strange to be writing about the wintertime blues on such a spectacular, sunny day in Asheville, NC. And, I know we’re not out of the woods yet so, this cowgirl wanted to share some of her favorite tips for shooting the blues.
January thru March has always been difficult for me with some years being tougher than others. Over the years, I’ve come up with some things that help keep the blues corralled or chase them away. A friend this week shared with me that he found that hard to believe since he always sees me smiling and upbeat. I assured him that even cowgirls with a kick ass attitude get the blues sometimes.
Don’t despair if you’re a cowgirl with the blues. Lock and load some of these ideas and see if they help to put the giddy up back in your step!
•Eat, sleep and hydrate well~ I figure my body has enough to deal with and this is least I can do to help out. Tons of water, no processed foods (easy on the sugar and alcohol), and eight hours a night are a solid recipe.
• Retail therapy within budget~ Treating myself to a new scarf or other small treat fits my budget and puts a smile on my face.
• Move your body~ If the blues have already moved in, this can be tough to do and yet essential to shooting them out. Cold snowy day…bundle up and get around the block walking with intention. Any amount of endorphins will ease your heart….guaranteed.
• Eating ice cream with a sterling silver spoon in a bubble bath~ This is my super, uber indulgent treat! I feel like a queen when I indulge myself with this.
• Sipping wine in bed snuggled up with a good book~ Love this one too! It could also be hot tea if that feels good for you. I love taking a break from reality with a good novel and yummy glass of cabernet.
• Sunlight~ Get as much as possible naturally and pay for it if you have to.
• Play with horses~ Research has shown that horses have the ability to sooth us emotionally due to the size of the electromagnetic field projected from their heart. Touch them, open your heart, and breathe them in.
• Get into nature~ I believe that nature is a natural healer. Every time I’ve gone in the woods, I come back feeling better having left some unwanted ‘stuff’ behind. The trees can process your s*** better than you. Trust me.
• Keep yourself up~ I like to let go in the winter a bit since I am home so much. It could be weeks before I shave my legs…then, I can feel when its time. Manicure, pedicure, condition hair, and mowing my legs puts things back on track. After all, I do have to live with myself.
• Practice speaking fluently in sailor~ I’m a huge fan of letting it rip and letting off some steam. There are some days when it seems f*** finds a way into every sentence I speak. What a relief to have this as an outlet.
• Find something that makes you laugh~ Movie, comedy show, your geeky neighbor or friend. Do whatever it takes.Laughter clears energy just as well as tears and it’s more fun!
• Human touch~ If you’re in a relationship, get a snuggle. If you’re single like me, get a professional massage. You’ll thank me.
• Dance anywhere anytime you can~ Whether it’s going out for live music or making a playlist of the songs you love. Get around music you can’t sit still listening to. Keep that playlist handy and use liberally.
What are your ways of keep the blues at bay or running them off once they arrived?
I love my list and always need more so I hope you’ll share!
February 14, 2014
Here is an article I wrote for the Asheville Citizen-Times on Valentine’s Day 2011.It’s one of my favorites! I hope you enjoy and decide to write your own version of the day!
For years, Valentine’s Day was a day of over the top expectations and inevitable let downs for me. Days that I anticipated with hopeful expectation, whether I had a love interest in my life or not, and then suffering through the crash. High school years with other girl’s arms full of flowers sent by ardent admirers, I imagined, compliments of the Key Club school fundraiser. It was during those years, frustrated and fed-up, that I came upon the idea of how to rework the day and remove the sting. No one said it had to be about romantic love, so why not expand my vision to include love of all kinds in my life.
My girlfriends and I conspired over lunch one day, nibbling at chips and sipping on diet sodas. The idea was revolutionary! Why sit around and wait for someone to buy us flowers when we could buy them for each other! It seemed amazing that we had not landed on this before and the tradition of buying flowers for each other began and continued for the rest of our teenage years. Now we too walked the halls of our high school with our arms full of flowers, how would anyone know they were not from romantic interests? We were not left out anymore and the secret was ours!
As the years went by, I’ve often used the day as a good reason to spread love to all my nearest and dearest….girlfriends alone, fresh out of relationships, family, and eventually my daughters. As they have grown into teenagers, I’ve delighted in sharing with them the day is about love, in all its forms and manifestations. My favorite year was when my teenage daughter brought home 7 girlfriends, all of whom were not in a relationship and deeply bummed about that fact. I treated them to a lavish dinner of chicken parmesan, pasta loaded with cheese, and a decadent dessert. As dessert was served, we raised our glasses of ginger ale and I led a toast. This was my opportunity to impress upon them that men would come and go throughout their lives but girlfriends were forever. I went on to encourage them to always embrace the love of the day, whether romantically involved or not because love is everywhere. To my heart’s delight they all cheered.
There are those whose callused hearts make fun of the day and want to rebel the marketing sensation. Who can blame them when our society drives us to spend and overeat as an expression of love? When the message is romantic love is what counts the most? This rebellious approach seems far too jaded for me. My approach of transforming the day into something really meaningful for me feels like a more authentic approach. Could it be possible that we embrace a socially organized day of love and not buy into the machine? I like the idea of using the energy behind the machine to my own self constructed end.
Men do come and go, and now I am divorced after 18 years of marriage. Despite my best efforts, the first two Valentine’s Day were heartbreaking to be alone after so many years. I persevered, fueled by good memories, and found ways to celebrate the day by sharing my love with those around me I care most about. Baking cookies for my daughters, taking flowers to a lonely friend, and buying something special for myself! The consumer machine is big and all those commercials can pull at my heart with their images of “perfect” love, and for a few moments I do feel sad and alone. It is with gratitude that I also know my heart is bigger than the machine and hope is alive if I can revel in the love that is in my life.
Love is where you find it and create it for yourself. Love can save the world, so why not use this day to celebrate all the love in your life and spread generously the love you have to share, including lavishing it on yourself. It has the potential to make the day better for you and the world a better place to be.
January 31, 2014
This week I will begin by confessing to being a logophile. To save you from running for your dictionary, I will tell you it means I am a lover of words. They are rich and omnificent. In my writing and speaking I have grown into a deep appreciation for all that can be conveyed by using the perfect word.
Another confession is that I find people who overly contrive their speech by analyzing every word with the intention of creating the precise reality they want extremely annoying. Many not only want to create their reality, they want to help you create yours too. Toward this end they endlessly point out every word you use that may not be in full accordance with your desired destiny. These are people I do not want dine with let alone share a glass of wine.
While I respect their point of view and acknowledge the power words can wield, I also prefer to not contrive my languaging to the point that it is unnatural. It feels more genuine and authentic to relax, communicate from my heart, and with full presence to the person or people I am with at the time. Words have the ability to shift the mind, heart, and perspective. Having noticed over the years the truth certain words reveal, I prefer to pay attention, truly hear myself, and be aware rather than obsessively police myself. Even when it’s just me talking to myself.
If this appeals to you or you are just curious, read on to consider some of my favorite ways to say what you mean and mean what you say:
• Should vs. Could~ This was the first word that was introduced to me as packing a punch, even if unintentionally. Using the word ‘should’ immediately reeks of judgment. If used in a past tense, as in ‘should have’, guilt can consume my entire consciousness. It seeks to control self or others by the imposition of rules/shoulds not necessarily agreed to. And I ask you…is there truly anything in this world that we ‘should’ do? For what reason? To what end? I propose replacing ‘should’ (little gag in my throat) with ‘could’. The alternative implies choices and freedom. It offers opportunities rather than imprisonment. “I could work this afternoon…you could take the dog on a walk…We could cook rather than go out to dinner.” Already my shoulders are relaxing…aahhh.
• Try vs. Do My Best ~ I only recently discovered my distaste for the word ‘try’. For me it implies that I actually intend or at least expect to fail. Sometimes it conveys uncertainty. If I really don’t want to do something (“I’ll try to make it for drinks at 5”) then I prefer to just say so rather than leave myself slightly on the hook and set up for forgiveness if I fail to follow through. To say “I will do my best” communicates that I am uncertain of my success and I do truly want to achieve whatever it is I am endeavoring to do…make it for drinks, finish a project by a certain time, fulfill a request, etc.… If I cannot say honestly that I will ‘do my best’, then I’d rather not make a false commitment at all. This change of wording also empowers me rather than fill me with doubt about my ability. Gotta love that.
• But vs. And or However ~ A guy I dated a few years ago pointed this one out to me. He made a valid point that using the word ‘but’ completely negates everything you said before it. Hmmm…I was not convinced so I started to pay attention. “I really enjoy your company but I need to end this relationship”. “I do want to come to your party but I have too much to do”. Interesting. By switching to ‘and’ or ‘however’ all my words retain their meaning. These words are inclusive rather than negating. I am a lover of clear and authentic communication.
Pick any one of these this week and see what your languaging reveals to you. Please don’t go crazy and be militant with your self. Just have fun and see what your words reveal. There are more I want to share so I suspect I’ll be writing on this topic again.
Till then, I invite you to share your favorite words or what you experience when you shift the words you use. I’d love to hear from you!
January 17, 2014
Early in my dating, I wrote often about the feelings I was having about my experiences. Having been ‘off the market’ for nearly 20 years had me feeling inept and confused by the things that had changed over that time. Since I enjoy humor more than tears and anger, I wrote which eventually helped me to find my way.
Here are excerpts from a piece I wrote in 2010. Truthfully, my feelings haven’t changed much since then. The prominent position of texting in adult relationships still baffles me even if I do feel more skilled at it. I hope you’ll enjoy and share your feelings and opinions with me!
Texting in dating and relationships is the curse of the 21st century. First the text, then the waiting…the wondering…the rethinking and rereading…the rechecking the time of the text sent and received…the rereading of words looking for meaning. It can become obsessive.
In the beginning, I felt I could not control the wonderings of my mind. It was easy to slip into contemplation of what was being said between the words being typed to me. Where was the vocal inflection and tonal emphasis to clarify the feeling behind the words? There was too much room for innuendo, which fed my overactive imagination. In these moments, I crave clarity and things being wrapped up neatly in packages that can be labeled and alphabetized…and still he texts.
There was no texting when I dated a millennium ago before marriage, as if I needed one more new thing to learn about and explore. It revealed much to me about where we have gone as a culture in our mating dance.
There are times I like texting and thank the universe for it; otherwise, my teenagers might never communicate with me at all. Then there are the times when the text makes me cringe. For example, I hate when things are said that are not really meant or followed through on; such as “I will call you tomorrow” which then does not happen. Does typing not imply the same commitment as the spoken word? Is it more easily forgotten? Not as real?? Call if you say you are going to call.
I want communication that is real; something you can hear, feel, know and believe in. For me texting is best used for disseminating quick pieces of information or making a quick connection. It is not meant to replace verbal communication, shared decision-making, first date requests, or relationship break-ups. To go for days in a romantic relationship with texting being the only communication is so adolescent and a sure sign that I am dating the wrong guy. I want real communication and a real man behind the communication.
With this clarified in my mind, I started asking for what I wanted. When guys start to text about important things and I want to be clear, I ask them to call or suggest we talk in person. You find out a lot about a person when you start asking for what you want and share what is important to you.
Do they hear you and respond to your request?
Do they continue to insist on their way for their own comfort?
Do they share what they would like in an effort to find middle ground?
Ahhh, the dance of the mating game and the steps we take with one another.
As modern and independent as I can be, I am still an old fashioned girl in many ways. Can I tell you how much I love it when a man actually calls to ask me for a date? It eliminates the question “Is a text requested date a real date? Or just a virtual one?”
The main point of this literary rant is to encourage connection and real communication in the world. It concerns me that as technology grows larger, we are growing further apart. Technology threatens our ability to make eye contact, express ourselves in person with confidence and take full accountability for our words. Hiding behind texts cannot get us anywhere except further apart. And when you want to ask that certain someone out, dial their number. I bet they say yes!
January 10, 2014
“Everything is energy & that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want & you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”
Don’t try to leap over yourself. Just accept what is and be with it, really be with it, because when you do that you are being in the moment, in the truth. You are being present as you live your life. In the end, is there anything else?
~Wise Woman (Sue Monk Kidd)
These are a couple of quotes I’ve collected over the years. (Quote collecting is an accidental hobby of mine.) These speak to the challenge of being happy in the here and now while also knowing we are always growing and creating newness in our lives and ourselves.
Einstein’s quote was particularly fascinating to me when I found it. Here is a scientist speaking to the ability to manifest our heart’s desires. This goes beyond metaphysical woo-woo and grounds it firmly in the truth science gives us. It reminds me that I am a powerful creator in my ability to bring good things into my life.
The quote from Sue Monk Kidd reminds me to be happy in the here and now. Life is not about a constant struggle to change ourselves and manifest more. Change can come slowly. Healing and growth come slowly. So best to be happy in the here and now, not missing a moment, until whatever is coming arrives.
Balancing intentional, creative living and true peace of the heart is a challenging adventure for me. Loving my ability to grow, push limits, and evolve can become so intoxicating that I get a little obsessed at times. It is good to remember that I can slow down, open to grace, and be happy just as I am in the life that I have in this moment. As we go into the New Year, with all our hopes and dreams for what it will bring, these words are important reminders of the balanced place we can live from everyday.
January 3, 2014
2013 wrapped up nicely for me despite a year-end funk that really threatened to pull me down. Part of what helped turn things around was the time I spent reflecting on 2013 and looking ahead to the New Year. The miracles and blessings of 2013 were a wonderful reminder to me that all is well and encouraged me to look ahead to 2014 with hope and optimism.
Quite fortuitously, an inspiring email landed in my ‘in box’ right around this time. It was from Christine Hassler, a life coach, speaker and author, whose emails I’ve enjoyed throughout the year. Her message was not to make resolutions since that implies we need to do “more, better, different”. Since a self-improvement tactic is the exact opposite of how I am choosing to live the coming year (Peace and Grace in the New Year), I read on. Instead of resolving to change ourself, she encourages setting intentions and creative possibilities that come from our heart. This girl was talking to me!
Following her guidance and suggestions, I was surprised at some of the things I felt inside. There were dreams that I had not considered in a long time and remembering them brought them to the surface of my awareness fresh for my indulgence. It is easy to imagine that some or all have the potential to come true. Just knowing the dreams of my heart is the first step to making them a reality.
The New Year is already underway and it is not too late to take advantage of this energy to set intentions for 2014. New Year’s did arrive on a new moon meaning the energy for new beginnings is still available for the dreams of your heart. If this approach speaks to you, I highly encourage you to check out Christine’s blog post. Her words and wisdom helped me to fulfill the ideas I had for how I wanted to bring in the New Year. And it banished the funky mood that threatened to bring me down. A win-win to start my year with a positive bang!
December 27, 2013
“Stress is an acceptable form of mental illness in our society.”
Another year come and gone. It seems time is gaining momentum. At a time in my life when I want to slow down and savor life more, it dashes off down the road with me chasing after it. There is so much I want to do with my life and yet the faster I go, the less I feel and truly experience.
Looking ahead to 2014, I’ve decided to do less so I can enjoy more. While there are goals of accomplishment I am setting this year, I am including some that appear to be the opposite of accomplishment. One is to make time to pause, reflect, and connect to life more. This will create space for more Grace in my life. (No…not a person named Grace…silly. Grace, meaning a divinely given blessing. ) If I’m busy being super cowgirl, handling everything and planning every minute, day, week of my life, where’s the room for Divine intervention and blessing?
My ‘to-do’ list is as long as anyone’s. It is easy to get caught up in rushing through it imagining that peace lies just beyond the completion of the list. Truth is, my list is like laundry…it will never be done. Putting off slowing down and experiencing my life until …… is an illusion. Balance between ‘doing’ and ‘being’ is the key.
Our society has normalized stress and overly full days. It seems most of us tend to accept that this is life and I do not agree. I choose to balance my ability to do with a slower energy that allows me to receive. Receive what, you may be wondering? Receive wisdom from my intuition, help from others, and inner restoration that comes from enjoying the life I’ve created. Taking time to pause and appreciate what has been accomplished, and resting in the moment is a rich blessing.
When I do not slow down and enjoy the life I’ve created, I experience stress. Clearly, this is something I have control over. Choosing a slower pace is a change that will bring more peace and freedom to my life. Christine Arylo’s blog offers a wonderful guide for reducing stress, which I highly recommend. It was her use of Richard Carlson’s quote (author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff) that brought it to my attention.
Arylo’s steps are helping me to fulfill this commitment to myself for the New Year. The steps she outlines assure I bring this energy of peace and presence into my life. The habit of go, go, go and do, do, do is often firmly entrenched in my days. And as I’ve mentioned, it as affirmed by the society in which I live. This does not make it a good idea. My heart holds the truth. I am listening to my heart. I am changing my pace. Will you join me?
How will you unplug from the machine and create a life of peace and freedom?
What other changes will you seek to make in the New Year?
What dreams do you hold in your heart that you will make real?
I hope to hear from you and wish you a reflective and uplifting New Year!
Tis’ the season and I find myself without a romantic relationship. This must be a sign I am getting stronger since miraculously every holiday since my separation a man has been in my life to one degree or another. Two of them even were around just for the months of December and January. I now kindly refer to them as my Christmas presents. This must be a sign that I’ve grown, healed and am ready to go it alone! So why does a part of me say “this really sucks”.
The holiday commercials with all the lovers and happy married people make me want to gag. Seriously? Even when I was married and very much in love with my husband, those moments were rare. I see through the illusion and still it emphasizes my single-ness and irks me. Have you seen the “They’ve never been to Paris” commercial? (Throwing up in my mouth a little…) Thank Goddess I don’t watch TV very much. And yet they bombard me when I’m just trying to watch a little football! Geez! Can’t a girl just get her weekly dose of athletic violence with having her heart ripped out??
Of course, I exaggerate. It’s really not that bad and I am well aware and conscious of people in the world who are truly suffering. People who are far lonelier and have suffered much greater losses. And honestly, it nips at my heart…sometimes more than others. That’s just the truth.
So rather than count down the days till normalcy – aka Jan 2 – I’ve devised a primer of suggestion for singles to survive the holidays with fun and style. Even though I wrote these with ladies in mind, most are actually good for anyone out there. Read, enjoy, and share if you know someone who is feeling a little lonely and needs a lift to their holiday spirits!
To Make the Most of Your Single Holidays:
1. Go to every party you can and dance… whether others are dancing or not. “No” is an unacceptable answer to holiday invites. Get your boogie on!
2. Get manicures, pedicures and massages…touch is important when you’re feeling alone.
3. Make full use of mistletoe every chance you get. Kissing isn’t a crime and won’t give you a terminal illness.
4. Act as if…plan a romantic evening home alone with yourself. Holiday movie of choice, nice bottle of wine, roaring fire or cozy blanket with a decadent treat to eat. Have a date with your self!
5. Invite friends to join you for fun evenings out and tree/home decorating…no need to do it all alone.
6. Look for volunteer opportunities as wonderful ways to get out of your self AND meet new people…aka – potential date material. At least you’ll know they have a heart!
7. Make cynical comments whenever you want to. Better out than in with those negative feelings. Set them free on the ears of someone who will laugh with you.
8. Dress to the hilt every time you go out the door. Do it for yourself and to be ready in case a potential New Years date appears out of nowhere.
9. Make a plan for New Years. Don’t just wait for a good date to appear. Decide on something you really want to do and will look forward to whether with friends or on your own. Bonfire anyone??
10. Count your blessings. Being alone at the holidays is not the worst thing in the world. It just ‘kind of’ sucks. So think more about everything in your life that doesn’t.
11. Consider shaving something on your body in the shape of a candy cane (stripes and all) or a holly leaf. For men the possibilities are endless. Ladies, I think you know where I’m going with this.
12. Buy your self a romantic Christmas present. A new beautiful negligee or expensive lacy underwear? A coveted perfume? Go get it girl!
13. Enjoy your self no matter what. If your heart starts to feel hollow and sad, give it a minute, be kind to your self and then push on! Nobody wants a droopy face sourpuss at their holiday soiree. And that is not an excuse to not go either. Love your self, get out there, and make your holiday great!
December 13, 2013
Today is Friday the 13th; a day fraught with superstition and history. I probably didn’t need to tell you that. So what is today really all about? The history runs so deep that the roots of the day are difficult to find, so I endeavor to share with you what I do know and what the day means for me.
Early in my spiritual studies, I learned about pre-historic matriarchal societies. Prior to this, I had no idea that women had ever been in charge of culture and religion. This was thrilling information. Along the way, I heard tales of how powerful women, the midwives, ‘witches’, and herbalists, gathered on Friday’s, often the 13th, to concoct their tinctures and brews as well as hold spiritual ceremonies. As patriarchy and Christianity took over, it was important to them to vilify these practices in an effort to establish their power. My research has not proven this exactly to be true and there are other things I have found that support this in general.
The word “Friday” is derived from a female Norse goddess known as ‘Frigga’, goddess of marriage and fertility or ‘Freya’ the goddess of sexuality and fertility. Fridays were also Sabbath days in ancient pagan cultures. When the patriarchy took over, they claimed Fridays were witches Sabbaths and that Eve even tempted Adam with the apple on a Friday. (Seriously…how did they know that??) Friday was getting a bad rap.
Next add the power of the number 13. In prehistoric goddess worshipping cultures, their calendars were based on lunar cycles, the 13 moons of the year or menstrual cycles. There are numerous artistic examples from these cultures that incorporate the number 13 offering more evidence of their belief in the power of women. When the solar calendar took over under patriarchal leadership and the lunar was cast out, 13 was classified as evil as a means to get people to embrace the new.
Add to that the fact that a coven of witches numbers 13. Keep in mind that a ‘witch’ was historically a label given to women of power who practiced powerful spiritual and medicinal work that assisted their cultures. We’re not talking about wicked old witches who want to cast evil spells on you. Hmmm…I wonder who started that idea. Are you starting to get the picture?
For me, Friday the 13th represents a powerful day for women. As I think on the brave women who went before me, the persecution they endured, and the traditions that were snuffed out in fear, I stand firm in the day as an opportunity to embrace the power of women. The fear and superstitions hold no meaning for me except as a reminder of the power a society can have over its members to shape their beliefs.
The history goes much farther than I have taken you and I encourage you to explore it on your own. (Check out the Urban Legends website where I found some of my information) Hopefully as you delve into this topic, you will at least conclude that the dread of the day has been contrived by many beliefs touted by patriarchal spin-doctors who were invested in promoting their own systems. So check it out, take back your power, form your beliefs about the day, and go forth without fear!